Evening 95: August 19th, update

Long time, no write, pals! 

I Figured I was due for a little update. So here goes: today, this evening, is my fourth night out five taking the big dose of chemo. So far it’s been pretty uneventful and easily tolerated. I haven’t had any nausea, save a little bout of it this morning, and it passed. I’ve a bit of some other gastrointestinal issues, but we won’t go into that lol. There’s no pain, so I can’t complain… Maybe that should be my new motto lol.


I haven’t had any emotional breakdowns since we switched my steroid (so I’m gunna blame it on the last icky one, Dextamethasone). That is not to say I don’t cry; I just haven’t gone to pieces. I dream every single night about my hair. I worry everyday that I won’t have 4 inches of regrowth in time for the wedding (you need at least 4 inches of regrowth to have extensions put in. I want to sketch, and type, and stir things, every single day. I have dreadful circles of those thoughts everyday. But they’re not breaking me down at the moment. I just remind myself, continually, of what my father and uncle have told me — this is a war. There will be sacrifices. It’s going to be hard and you have to fight. So I continue to have those thoughts each day, I can’t stop them and trying to is futile and is what causes me to build up until a breakdown, and then I push them away and play solitaire or research Pretty Little Liars. 

 Today mom had a big checkup with her doctor and she got THE ALL CLEAR!!!  She no longer has to wear her collar (it was causing her a lot of discomfort. Another big blessing is that the doctor told her, from her X-ray, that there is already some bone fusion happening,  which is a really great thing. I am so proud of my mom for her incredible strength and endurance. She may not realize it, but she is a major inspiration to me. I am a huge wuss with pain and blood. Example: dad tested my blood sugar tonight, just for fun, and I about passed out from seeing my blood when he pricked my finger. (Ps my blood sugars are friggin’ great, HOLLA!)  Yet my mom has to poke, and prick and prod her fingers and stomach, not just occasionally, but every single day. And no one else does it for her. She does it independently to herself. I never could do that. She hooks herself up to a pump, injects it into her body and has to carry it around with her always. And she hardly ever even mentions it. I’d complain every day. All of this is to say, to brag a bit, on the incredible strength my mom has and a thank you to her for inspiring me to be strong through my current struggle. So shout out to my beautiful mother and all the other people out there with diabetes – whether it be Type 1 or Type 2. You rock and are a some of the strongest people alive.


Additionally, tomorrow is my last day of what I will call Big Chemo 2 and then I have 28 days off. Then next week, I’m not sure which day, I get blood work, to check my blood count, and the following week I get an MRI. 

Here’s another big thank you, this one to my doctors: Dr. Wang, Dr. Nisely, Dr. Smith, Dr. Monga, Dr. Grerk snd Dr. Krisht. They answer all my questions honestly (sometimes too honestly lol. But that’s my own fault for backing them into a corner.) they give me their personal emails, they’re always supportive of me, and even share stories of hope with me. As much as I may say I don’t like them, it’s simply because of what they represent, and this team of doctors, at least for now, have saved my life. And I can never fully express my thanks to them. Even writing this and thinking about what a blessing they are to me and my family, brings me to tears. God bless each one of them.

Now, I have more to say, but I’ve taken a sleeper to help me sleep, and I’m a little loopy. So I’ll just do a second post tomorrow. 

Thank you God for every thing and person you’ve blessed me with. Thank you for helping me grow in You during this experience. Please be with all the sick and hurting and with all the kids about to start school on Monday. All this, in Jesus’ name, amen.

gofundme.com/24x8pfg

Romans 12:12

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