Day 50: actually today

So my post earlier basically recapped yesterday and this morning. This one will be shorter. 

Dad has always told me that activity is the enemy of depression, so that’s what I’m trying to do. I get cozy with Brandon on the sofa, do some laundry and try to get the boys to help me clean up the house for dad. I’m so unmotivated but Brandon talked to me about how I can’t just give up. And Lord knows, Brandon is the reason I’m fighting. So if he needs me to keep fighting, I will. And I want to keep fighting because I want that time with him. So this is gross, but I don’t even feel motivated to shower or anything:/ but I’m going to make myself shower and make myself eat something. And that’s how you know Annemarie must be depressed – food doesn’t even sound good. Yikes lol. 

Dad will be home around 5 or 6 for a little while and then he’s heading back with Hardy to stay with mom I think. Then tomorrow after radiation, after mom has been discharged, Brandon, dad and myself will take mom to rehab. Dad is cancelling his patients fir tomorrow because he said he needs to help transport mom tomorrow. I think hardy and Nathanael are going to go with To help as well. A whole family effort. Brandon and I won’t be able to do it all on our own tomorrow. She’s having a very rough day and dad said she can’t even sit up in a chair without screaming from pain. He said it’s becoming apparent that her nurses are growing weary of her and that upsets dad because she can’t help that she’s in pain.

Pray hard prayer warriors. Pray for my family, pray for relief, pray for peace and understanding. Please pray without ceasing. Dear God, take this from me. I’ll keep fighting but please take this. In your Son’s holy name, amen.

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