Waiting and waiting, this is a patient’s game. I have no patience. I’m going and going and I must endure but this game has gotten old.
I have one more radiation left, Tuesday July 5th. I cannot wait for it to be over with!!!! Victory in Jesus! I had my appointment for Dr. Day today with Dr. Smith. Unfortunately, I’m going to be bald for quite some time, months. He said he thinks by a year out that it will all be normal-ish. I don’t even know what that means anymore…
3:30pm: Currently, Nathanael, Jeanie and I are waiting in Mom’s hospital room with her. She’s really out of it. They have her on an extended release morphine and she’s very odd right now. But I prefer this for her than all that pain. Jeanie and Nathanael just left for a few minutes to go get a quick little snack (I’m not hungry), we’re gunna leave here soon and let her get some rest. The nurse had paged the doctor twice while we were there and he never came, so he’s a butt. And I’m guessing he’ll just end up coming around at rounds this evening. Bro is lucky I won’t be there because you’re messing with my mom and I don’t like it and would give him an earful. But I digress, he’s the doctor.
4:34: we left mom just a little bit ago so that she could get some rest, Nathanael could get some food and sleep, and honestly, I’m feeling really drained, so I couldn’t stay too much longer anyways. Jeanie is such a gem: driving me to Iowa city and back and even coming to see me at all, helping around the house, enduring my silly doggies… I couldn’t ask for better friends. I’m truly blessed. Glory to God!
We’re going to pick up some Chinese for dinner for all of us (minus Brandon who is at work) and head on home. Today has been a loooong day. Dad isn’t off work until about 8 – 9pm and then he will come by the house and head to Iowa city to be with mom.
Everyday this week has been too long. I’m definitely at my emotional and mental breaking point. Thank God I have God and the people around me that I do, because they’re holding me up through this when I can’t.
Dear Lord, keep me positive, keep me strong, help me be patient, help me in general. I am breaking. I am so broken. I need You. Please heal me. Let me feel like me again. Make me whole again. Lord I petition, I beg all this in your Precious Son’s holy name, Amen.