Day 23: Tuesday, June 7th

Today is going to be rough, I can feel it, even though I’m going to fight it. I’m going to try to stay positive today.

Yesterday was great and OT and pt really make me happy. 

Today is radiation number 15 and Simply Clean is coming to clean / steam / disinfect the basement floors and furniture this morning. I’m pretty happy for that. I love clean lol. Even befor this, I like everything clean and in order lol. 

Yesterday was rough in that mom got some bad news concerning the business, but I believe it’s all been sorted out. Still, it’s very hard to see my mom struggle or cry like that and she’s worried about me and I hate that I can’t fix it or take away her worry.

Same thing with Brandon. This is weighing on him, as is expected, but still. He is the love of my life and seeing him hurt causes a kind of pain, in me, that I cannot describe but if you’ve ever been in love I’m sure you understand. 

I am already scheduled to see someone for mental health, but the rest of my family, including Brandon, is not. This is something to pray for please because we all need it. Sadly, when someone in your immediate family has cancer, it truly is like the whole family has cancer. I really want my parents, brothers, and husband to talk to someone. I think it would help ease their burden.

Additionally, hearing the word cancer of glioblastoma seriously pains me and just makes me want to cry. Everyone keeps saying how strong I’m being and how positive, but I don’t feel like I am? I feel ultra-sensitive and on-edge at all times. 

Truly through all of this, I can only cling to God, as He is the only one in control and with a master plan. Please pray, petition with me, that God take this from me, from my family, and give us positive test results Friday.

I’m going to post a second update tonight just to check in because this post was so early this morning lol. It helps me to get all my thoughts out like this. Thank you to everyone who prays and who reads this. I appreciate it deeply. 

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