Day 17: PT & OT

Today was physical therapy and occupational therapy and my 11th radiation appointment. My last appointment for radiation is July 5th, for a total of 34 radiations. 

They will probably discharge me from pt in the next couple of weeks — we just work on balance lol. It’s fun and then ot will be longer but even Doctor Monga could see improvements yesterday lol.So yeah I’m very happy with it. And both of my therapists are such amazing women. I am so lucky and blessed to have them. 

 The hardest part lately about this entire situation is hearing other people talk about their cancers and issues while I wait for my turn back in radiation. I might never be able to be an effective counselor after this lol. It’s really hard to hear these people. At least, I won’t be doing any type of bereavement type counseling. I truly enjoy the crazier side of things – the more mental illness side. I can relate to that side and feel it’s more my calling… Skillset. But my respect for bereavement counsellors has increased exponentially!

It’s a lot of very older people and they talk of how much time they think they have left and it’s really hard and so depressing. So Brandon has suggested that I just act like I’m asleep back there so they won’t talk to me because I don’t know what to say to them or how to handle it.

I believe I’ve learned more horrors of cancer from these other people than from my own experience.  I wonder if that’s how a lot of people end up knowing these things…. From hearing other people. I have so much respect for these older fighters, but I don’t know how they do it. My biggest motivation for fighting is wanting more time and memories with my husband. So if I was someone who already had 50 ish years I feel like I would’ve already given up. But I digress, and pray only for the absolute best for all my radiation mates. 

A close friend of mine, Jeanie Linton, told me this today: Just remember that you’re situation is no one else’s but your own. Everyone’s body’s are different and everyone’s cancers are different.

To which my response was: Yeah, it’s not like it makes me think I’m going to die right away or anything, it’s just so sad to hear these old people just want to make it to see their grandchild born or married .. It’s horrible. It’s heartbreaking and I have to try to stay as positive as possible and then I feel selfish because up until this, I wanted to be in a profession of listening to this and giving support where I can and I have to be selfish right now and not listen and try to not let it affect me.

Thank you Jeanie for all of your encouragement, thank you everyone for your encouragement. 

Just keep praying for positive test results. Even though it’s annoying to keep asking, please just send up a prayer when you can! I can’t fix this, but God can. 

Romans 12:12 ❤️🙌🏻

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