Day 11: physical therapy and occupational therapy

This morning was OT and PT. I don’t like OT but it’s because it makes me see my deficit so clearly…. I know it’s good for me though. And I love that they push me. I love PT, it pushes me a lot too. 

Mom and dad want me to “starve” my tumor. Which means cutting out a lot of  sugar, because brain tumor cells build on sugar. So I’m pretty cranky about it. I am a fat kid; I like sugar and sweets and fat. And I want to eat an entire cheesecake and cry about the possibility of not ever getting to have a little Lloyd baby. I swear to jeebs, at my wedding if someone tries to stop me from eating an entire tier of cake, I will cut them. lol 

So looking forward to the wedding is my biggest thing right now. Just looking at the hopeful end of this dumb race…. I want normal back… 

Cue whining!

I want normal so so badly. I want to complain about my weight and get my hair colored and get my nails done. I want to go swimming, I want to cry, sneeze, cough without worrying about putting pressure on my head. I want to be done with this. I want my neck to not be stiff, I want to feel my whole face, I want to hear normally, equally again, I want to sleep on my right side without getting violent vertigo. 

Ending, I thank God for letting me wake up this morning to birds and my beautiful husband’s brilliantly kind blue eyes.please please help me through this.  

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