Hardy took me to radiation today. Didn’t feel any different. Completely fine. But I almost want it to hurt a little or feel sick because I feel like that would be evidence it’s working…. I’m so terrified of this GBM…. There is no cure for this kind of cancer…. I want someone to fix me and make me normal again. I’m coasting again today — distraction to distraction… Sudoku, that 70’s show, eating…. Gahhhh…..
I have my first “Dr. Day” tomorrow, which is when my dad will take me and immediately following radiation I meet with the Doctor…. I’m scared that he will give me a certain amount of months or something… Because I can’t handle that. I just want to have tomorrow over with. But God is with me, and even if I die, the type of cancer I have is painless death and then I’ll be in paradise. So even the worst is not the worst. Ya know? Just pray for everyone around me… My parents, my husband lol. Thank you all. Love you.