Today started radiation! But when I showed up they just fitted me in my creepy mask and everything and got my “positions” down … For tomorrow. When I ACTUALLY start. And tomorrow evening is when I ACTUALLY start chemo pills. That’s what the on call doctor said when I called him.
I just want to be cured. I want a cure. I want 50 years with my husband. And cleaning coffee mug rings off the counter. And this is the hardest emotional pain I’ve ever been in. Physical pain = 0…. Emotional, mental anguish = infinitude. I can’t think of anything else. Everything, is distraction to next distraction… Tv, food, sudoku, annoy my dogs, medicate to sleep, re-do.